her smile could make the worst day better
she looked for her equal,
and found nothing
……………………………………….just
…………………………………………………..loneliness
searching but never finding
until her
…………when she came it was forceful,
…………and complete
…………there was no going back
…………after experiencing the
…………………..raw
…………………………….real
love she gave
she spoke about love like an old friend – like they had always been together
she tried to touch her, kiss her there,
………………………………but couldn’t
she wouldn’t let her
she would rather her own mouth be filled with her sweetness
how selfish she was; how stupid
until that drunk day, after a plethora of champagne-filled mouths
……………………………………………lipstick stained glasses
……………………………………………smiling to herself in the dirty bathroom mirror
…………a brunch that turned into dinner
…………which leads
………………………into a hot cab
…………onto the bed
where she finally allowed herself to be devoured
…………………………………………………………..and
…………………………………………………………………….damn
she had never felt like that before
never felt so wanted, craved, desired…needed
so
fully
every touch was given and felt like it was the last
they were one then –
lips
tongues
breasts
fingers
pussies
then,
bursting open beautifully
………..falling,
………………….falling into one another
how stupid I was to think I “found” her
she fucking saved me – changed me
taught me what it is to love and be loved
what it is to matter,
exist
………..so
………..perfectly
………..together
“Querida,” she said.
“Yes, Mami?” I answered.
a smile, then
“You love me?”
“Always.”
and I meant it
how perfectly that one word captures it all
always
***
Nicole is from Long Island, New York. She received her BA in Adolescent English Education/Special Education with a minor in American Studies from Molloy College. She is currently finishing her MA in English from Queens College. Nicole is a seventh grade English Language Arts teacher who also teaches a QCC Literature class in an alternative high school. The poem “her smile could make the worst day better” is her first published poem.
Armstrong Literary 